So as it happens, I'm loving my new active lifestyle. I have so much more energy already and I actually enjoy working out, it feels like there's a point to it, if that makes sense? If this is how I feel after a month and a half of eating better and exercising and at the end of two weeks of Power 90, imagine how I'm going to feel after finishing P90, I can't wait! I said to my hypnotherapist, if I could wake up tomorrow at my goal weight and with a healthy, fit body I wouldn't do it. I would feel ripped off because when you actually DO the hard work, you feel like you deserve your reward.
I'm learning how to control my eating habits and how to move my body so that I can get fitter. If I'm absolutely honest, I used to be a slave for food. It's really the best way to describe it, so much of my thoughts were based on food, I had cravings that would compete with any pregnant woman's cravings! In short, I was a junk food addict...junk food being used to term anything from McDonalds to frozen lasagne to Cadbury Creme Eggs! If I saw chocolate, I had to eat it, no matter how much I knew I shouldn't.
I have hated myself and my body for years...all the while stuffing my mouth with potato chips or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. It was easy to do, in fact it was much, much easier to loathe myself for what I didn't do than it is to begin to love myself and do the things I have to in order to treat my body the way it deserves to be treated. I absolutely attribute the shift in my way of thinking to the hypnotherapy but at the end of the day I had to reach the absolute end of my rope before I could pick up the phone and make that call. I wanted to want to eat right and exercise. I'll admit, I do still eat some crap and you can see that on my food diary but nowhere near what I used to. That first day's food from the beginning of this blog? That was not an unusual occurrence. I shudder to think about what I used to eat and while I still allow myself some treats, they're just that, treats. One offs. Not for every meal.
I love that I can walk past chocolate and not spend the next half hour obsessing over it until I go get it. I love that I can not think about food outside of mealtimes, that I can look at the clock and say "oh, wow, it's time for lunch" and not "I don't care that I ate an hour again, I need more food!". My life has changed so much in the last month and a half that it sometimes astounds me. It amazes me that I lived my life the way I did for so many years.
I finally feel free.
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